My Life as a Sitcom

I realize those on "the mainland" won't understand or will simply roll their eyes thinking I am exagerating but I live in a sitcom. I've had a few visitors who will atest to this fact so I'm comfortable with it.

First off, I'm Seinfeld. Mostly because everyone enters my house without knocking and they feel free to eat anything in the cupboards. Recently, with the Student Store doing as well as it does, I've been getting the feeling I live some role in The Sopranos.

My boss is Kramer. He's a little jittery and gets up and leaves as fast as he comes in. His neurotic dog is nuts as well.

My co-worker is ...at this point undefined but most of the time he acts like a twelve year old and we're constantly up to no-good. He also lives with his wife, their child and four other girls they've taken in. As a result, I never have any hot water.

The Roommate is crazy, postive and with her quick wit with the boys she is Elaine.

Haunted House

Credit really has to be given to these kids; They were up the night before playing or watching volleyball until midnight then got up at 7 to start playing again at 9. Those games ended at noon and while I was transporting the other village's players and coaches to the airstrip my students went right to work cleaning up the school and setting up the haunted house.

It opened, one kid got scared and I had to carry her out - she later went again and by and large everyone agreed it was the best haunted house in a long time. By the time midnight rolled around again, they had cleaned up everything (I was thinking Sunday at 2). It was flat out amazing.

Volleyball

Tonight was pretty important for Kokhanok as we hosted 7 schools in a Volleyball Tournament. This means our school doubled (close to tripled) in size and right now as I write this there are about 15 boys stinking up the gym before going to sleep.

For the last three days, my students have been making posters, signs and actually cleaning up the gym for the other schools. It's not so much a inter-school competition as it is a family reunion. Igiugig has only four members on their team but brought with them 7 people. We all cheered for each score - no matter the team - and watched each team win their best of five until 11:00 at night.

Yes, I still somehow have to teach for Friday's classes.

This is Ms. W. letting me know that she would be taller than me if she only would stand on the seat.

SNOW!

It happened. The early hours of October 24 brought not only high 20s but two inches of snow. Autumn by all practical definitions lasted only a week and a half.

My Alaskan Family

This weekend Kimmy & I went up to Nondalton to visit the Richters, Coxs and Cameron & Nichole; All members of my Alaskan Family. Being hosted by the Richters is like coming home for Christmas - not only does everyone stay up for hours into the evening but there is food and lots of it.

Ron & I took a hike along with Cal Cox and I became better situated with my profession. Besides playing games not much happened: another wonderful weekend.

Kokhanok School's Parking Lot

Just a bunch of Hondas blasting rap. My office is the two windows with the blinds down.

Sauna & the Curious Incident of the Bear in the Night-time

After another spaghetti fundraiser for the Kokhanok Girls Basketball team, Ed & I took up an offer to join a local for a steam. Martin is well known for "roasting" people and I admit having some apprehension on being cooked. We honda'ed over and were greeted by Martin who had his artic room door open. Martin was laughing when I walked in and he said "You're going to get cooked".

To do a steam right, you have to strip, sit on a "butt towel" and breathe slowly - you can literally burn your skin from the breathing out. Now a typical steam can get around 180 ... but Martin prides himself on having it around 250 or above. I lasted only a minute before leaving to laughter and taunting from Ed & Martin. They won't tell you they came out after another minute. And then after a few minutes you go back in.

Ed & I left after an hour so a few women could use the steam and when we got back to our place we could hear kids laughing up in the hill next to the school. Being a dark night we decided to hike up there and scare them. So we grabbed a flashlight, forgot the dogs, and raced up the trail hitting tree branches now and then. We stopped to figure out where we were exactly from the kids and just then we heard a low grumbling purr.

Bear. A Bear that was really close.

Ed spunned around muttered "Holy Hell" and we both slowly jogged down the hill again. You're not supposed to either go out in the dark and run into bears or to run away from them as that'll trigger them to chase after you.

Much like corn for people, berries go though bears.

Inservice & Getting Away

This week marked the school districts in-service. It was a family reunion of sorts as we almost never see the other members of our "family" except for these occasions. It was marked by meetings, plenty of fresh foods, endless roadtrips and a welcomed oppurtunity to get out of the village and take a moment to think deep on my reasons for being here.

It was odd to say it felt like a family reunion but everyone here is unique, of the highest caliber and abundantly amazing in their own right. I am humbled to be working with such a crew.

When we arrived back in KOK, Kimmy & I went on another one of our hikes and took a trail heading east of the village. Again, another bear was seen. The landscape is changing quickly; fresh snow was on the hills on our return from King Salmon and almost all the leaves are off the trees.

For the folks back home, yes, that is corn 4 for $12 bucks.

Snowmobiles & Bears

Saturday was interesting as it proved, once again, that my Principal "Re-Todd" is always up to no good. He finally got his snowmobile in and was happy to have us all assist him in unloading it from the plane. What makes it all the better was how he unloaded it from the truck.

Later that night, Ed & I went out for a honda drive. What made this journey a bit hair-raising was an encounter with a bear only 40 feet away. The pictures don't do it justice as it was getting near dusk but we made eye contact a few times and the beast never moved away from his berry feast.

Alaskan Style Detention

I had three boys today who just didn't want to do their reading on the Guilded Age. To be honest, I still don't. I asked them to finish the reading. I told them to finish the reading. I warned them to finish the reading "or else". Finally at 3:15 when the other kids were running out the door, I made them sit, in their desks, and had them finish their reading and answer the three questions.

Heaven Forbid.

There was crying, there was "I'm leaving Mr. Dave" and yes there was even a little "this is stupid" but ... the work got done. I said to them "thank you, you may go home now" and they looked at me and said "we missed the bus. You're going to have to drive us Mr. Dave"

Somehow in this little world of morbid karma, I had to drive home the kids I punished and endure their choice in music on the way.